I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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