is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She announced her abortion via fbk
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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