Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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