Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
