Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
