Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
