he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
