My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
