K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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