You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
