HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
