Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
