this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
