Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
