I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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