i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
