Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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