is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
