My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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