wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
