I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
