Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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