he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Randomize
