That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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