I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
