I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
