he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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