i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
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