Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so let's talk penis.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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