Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
