i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
