Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
