It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
