so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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