do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
