dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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