Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
