I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
