I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
