Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
