Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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