I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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