He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
