I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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