Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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