Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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