He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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