Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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