is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You've changed since you got that strap on
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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