i don't like sucking hair
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
ugly people sure do ruin things
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
