its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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