u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
